6 "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus"
Knowing that God is doing the work in me and not me myself is very comforting, i believe it is slowly bringing me peace in my heart in order to fully lay down everything to him, because he has full control and i can trust that what he is doing is most glorifying him and joyful for me, even if it seems like painful torture each day. He will save and sanctify me in due time.
20-22 "I eagerly expect and hope that i will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If i am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me."
John is dead, but Jesus Christ is alive in John, i am no longer living for myself, but for the glory of Jesus Christ that he be exalted because of His blood that has brought me salvation. To live is Christ and to die is gain - this will mean fruitful labor for John Chen, but He knows whats best for me and this is whats best for me no matter how much my flesh hates it. My flesh has died and now i am alive through Jesus Christ.
Father, Dad, please help me, i am in such disarray and have absolutely no passion to live life anymore, i just feel absolute nothingness, i wanna just lay down and die. I am sorry that i am not appreciating this gift you have given me, but sometimes it just feels like torture. I pray God that i would not question your actions, but please comfort me as you lay down your sovereignty. Please comfort me with your faithful love. I TRUST, I TRUST, I TRUST in your Lord that you are not torturing me but you are setting me up to most glorify your name and allow me to have joy forever. God please make my paths straight and headed in the right direction, and not in the path of destruction, please rescue me from my sin and cleanse all that filth in my mind. God i want to honour you with 100% of my heart and not just a part of it. God cleanse me from ALL MY IDOLS THAT SEEM TO HAVE SUCH A GRIP ON ME!!! ... Cleanse me Lord ... Cleanse me Lord, make me not self righteous but truly humble in awe and worship of Your Great Name Jesus Christ. Holy Spirit cleanse me!!! ... that Jesus Christ and not John Chen is exalted!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!
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